Faehlmanni F.R. (Friedrich Robert Faehlmann, 1798-1850)

Founder of the ‘Learned Estonian Society’ and originator of the Kalevipoeg idea, converting a rather malevolent giant of Estonian folklore into a king and national symbol. A medic by profession, his 1827 doctoral thesis, Observationes inflammationum occultiorum, or Observations on non-visible inflammations (the squidgy bits), he wrote in Latin. Other papers, such as the page-turning Ueber die Declination der estnischen Nomina (On the declension of Estonian nouns, a copy of which was owned by Napoleon’s linguist nephew Louis-Lucien Bonaparte, known for his almost definitive opus on Basque verbs, but I digress), a topic causing violent baldness in anyone approaching within three yards of it, he wrote in German and, as penance, became reader in Estonian language at the University of Tartu from 1842-50. Faehlman treated a wide range of patients from potatoless peasants to Baroness Bruiningk (1818-53) revolutionary sympathizer and sometime acquaintance of Karl Marx. Gossips have suggested a dalliance between Friedrich and the above Baroness Marie but there is no smoking dress. Squidgy bits and Estonian declensions have rarely been conducive to ripping off your clothes and getting down to it.